Ketolo Arketi


Ketolo Arketi


8 1/2


cardinalCulinarian [current]; binaryDegenerate [past]


all caps, units of measurement uncapitalised; 12 = R, 13 = B; degree symbol before 'C' and 'F'; prone to cookery puns





Strife Specibi


Fetch Modus

Ingredient Modus - must combine the item you wish to retrieve with another item in order to retrieve it

Session info


Prince of Spirit


Land of Rainbows and Destruction

Dream Self


Kernelsprite Prototyping

















>Be the stylish guyEdit

Your name is KETOLO ARKETI, and you are damn fine.

Among a variety of OTHER INTERESTS, your chief attraction is to COOKERY. You own one of Alternia's FINEST ESTABLISHMENTS, and proudly cater to all on the hemospectrum. You have an UNCANNY NACK FOR BEING A PRICK, albeit a LOVABLE ONE, and you often use this to your advantage when ANNOYING YOUR MOIRAIL, Lelipa.

You're a redblood, and you COULDN'T CARE LESS.

Your trollTag is cardinalCulinarian, and you A12E P12ETTY INTENSE Al.l. O°F THE THYME. OH, AND YOU MAKE °COOKE12Y PUNS. 13AD ONES.

> Examine respiteblock and hiveEdit

What the hell is this?! Your respiteblock consists of, well, pretty much NOTHING. It is the epitome of MINIMALISM. Most of the walls are OFF-WHITE, and all furniture you have is a deep shade of CHOCOLATE BROWN. Which isn't saying much, since all the furniture you own is a RECUPERACOON, a LAMP, and a CHEST OF DRAWERS. Oh, and a LAPTOP, but that is white of course.

You own and live above a WELL KNOWN TROLL RESTAURANT; as the head chef and manager you must MAINTAIN AN ORDERLY KITCHEN, and clearly this carries over into your respiteblock. Didn't anyone tell you not to bring your work home with you? Let's take a look at your restaurant instead.

It's true that the only INTERESTING PLACES in your entire hive are the RESTAURANT ITSELF, and its KITCHEN. The previous owner of this establishment had laid out a BLOOD-BASED FLOOR SYSTEM which he used in conjunction with BLOOD HIERARCHY, serving those with the lowest blood colours LAST, and often NOT AT ALL. Let's not even mention the quality of the food he served them.

You took one look at this layout and decided you'll have none of this HEMOSPECTRUM NONSENSE. You promptly REDECORATED and now proudly CATER TO ALL CASTES, serving ONLY THE FINEST FOODS, and on a FIRST COME FIRST SERVE BASIS. The HEMOSPECTRUM PRIDE FLAG situated outside the doors is indication of this.

The dining area is SLEEK and MODERN, featuring BLACK GRANITE SURFACES and a TEAL AND WHITE COLOUR SCHEME. You are pleased with how it turned out, though sometimes you wonder whether other trolls may think you favour tealbloods, despite your OBVIOUS SUPPORT OF HAEMOSPECTRUM PRIDE. It's just your FAVOURITE COLOUR, but maybe a redesign is in order.

> Note abilitiesEdit


You are a DAMN FINE COOK, and proud of it. But everyone knows that anyway. Amongst your repertoire of amazing physical abilities are... uh... I guess you are strong? An average amount?


Though you IMMENSELY DISLIKE the caste system, being the LOWEST OF THE LOW on the hemospectrum means you have pretty hardcore psychic abilities. You are a... wait, what the hell are you?

Some more spiritual than you might call what you do SOUL-BODY SEPARATION, however, you're pretty sure you have no soul. So. You have the freakish ability to SEPARATE YOUR ESSENCE FROM YOUR BODY, leaving your body LIFELESS and allowing you to travel through the world as, essentially, A GHOST. This takes NO EFFORT on your part. In fact, it happens EVERY NIGHT WHEN YOU FALL TO SLEEP, which is something you have tried to suppress for pretty much every day of your life so far, with no success.

This is not the extent of your abilities, however. With MODERATE EFFORT, you can solidify this essence, becoming more tangible; it allows you to LIFT SEMI-HEAVY OBJECTS. You can also enter the DREAMS OF OTHER TROLLS, influencing them in any way you see fit, although most often you will just creep into their dreams to enjoy them for yourself, since you have NEVER DREAMED.

There are a very many DOWNSIDES to this ability, aside from NEVER DREAMING. For one, you INVOLUNTARILY DITCH your body whenever you sleep, leaving you a DEAD WEIGHT TARGET. You also cannot leave your body for LONG PERIODS OF TIME. The longest you have ever pushed it was THREE DAYS, and returning to your body was, uhh, let's just leave it at 'not very pleasant'.

You need to KEEP YOURSELF ACTIVE whilst you are out of your body, because things can get really boring, really fast, so among other things, you spend your sleeping, bodiless hours SCOURING THE SURROUNDING AREAS for ingredients or TRAINING with your lusus, Coriander. Your lusus knows all about sleep, and has INSTRUCTED YOU WELL. In fact, this ability is the reason she chose you.

> Select strife specibi and fetch modusEdit


The device you used before discovering your ancestor's GLORIOUS SCARF. It's pretty much just a LARGE BLENDER, with blend, 2x blend and pulse settings. It has served you well, but the time for blending has passed.


The scarf left to you by your MYSTERIOUS ANCESTOR. It is made of the FINEST ALTERNIAN SPIDERSILK, and STRONGER THAN DIAMONS, or so they say. It's certainly strong enough to deflect bullets and knives, as you know all too well from PAST EXPERIENCES with trolls less intelligent than your fine self. Your deliciously insane ancestor used it to STRANGLE DESPICABLE HEMOBIASED IDIOTS, taking great delight in making sure their blood ran with the blood of other trolls on the hemospectrum, before cleaning. Rinse and repeat.

Ingredient modusEdit

This modus has been MOST BENEFICIAL in honing your culinary skills, as well as your MINIMALISM. For each item you put in, there must already be captchalogued a captcha card containing something which could be combined with item you wish to captchalogue. Similarly, for each item you wish to take out, you must take out one other item that can be combined with it. You love this modus.

> Examine contacts and historyEdit



You met Lelipa when you were working for the previous owner of the restaurant you now own. You were a GREAT WAITER but a POORLY PAID CHEF. Naturally, when your employer was COMMISSIONED FOR A LARGE PARTY, he wanted to show off his assets. You were his FINEST WAITER, along with a douchebag you REFUSE TO NAME. Actually, it's kind of amazing that you were ever hired at such a place, but let's not get into that right now. Mr. Douchebag was a blueblood, and VERY SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

Being HEMOBIASED at that point, you and your fellow waiter were sent with the FINEST FOOD IN HAND to wait at the party of a one MISS LELIPA SIRZEN, of the Alternian aristocracy. During the party, your fellow waiter and you had an ALTERCATION, stemming from his HIGH-AND-MIGHTY HEMOBIASED OPINIONS, and needless to say, if the lovely Lelipa had not stepped in, HIS FACE would have found itself IN YOUR BLENDER.

She saw the brewing fight and, much to your amusement, THWACKED YOU IN THE FACE with a very soft pillow. This effectively diffused any negativity, on account of your UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER, and she swiftly booted the blueblood douche from her hive. After inviting you to relax and stay for the rest of the party, she discovered that a) your food truly was AMAZING and b) you clicked INCREDIBLY WELL. You agreed, and you have only grown closer since.

> Be the insanely cute lususEdit

Your name is CORIANDER, and you are one of the DEADLIEST CREATURES ON ALTERNIA. Your deleterious array includes TWO ROWS OF POISON-ADMINISTERING FANGS, CORROSIVE SALIVA and THREE SETS OF EYES, making you the perfect predator.

You are widely known in Alternian legend for your UNCANNY ABILITY TO NOT SLEEP, however, this is only partly true. In fact, you are CONSTANTLY ASLEEP, you just have two brains which work independently of one another; whilst one is asleep, the other is awake... which is excedingly more creepy, really.

Often you and Ketolo will go on NIGHTTIME HUNTS to dismember find ingredients for his cooking.

> Be the ancestorEdit

bluh bluh under construction

> Examine photo albumEdit

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